FALSE BELIEFS AND ILLUSIONS OF DIFFERENT TYPES
Se - Si - Fe - Fi - Te - Ti - Ne - Ni
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● Type Ne - Escape from pain and the illusion of freedom
AVOID CONTACT WITH YOUR PAINFUL EXPERIENCES AT ANY COST
Although this belief is most characteristic of Type Ne, anyone can have it.
Type Ne is distinguished by mobility, lightness, an optimistic attitude to life, a broad outlook and a non-standard approach. Outwardly, he looks active and inquisitive, easily meets new people, boldly goes to meet new adventures. Despite this, type Ne are often full of fear, but this fear does not concern the outer world, but the inner one: they are afraid to plunge into their inner world and face their pain, sadness and anxiety. Representatives of type Ne want to believe that they live in a magical world of unlimited possibilities, in which there are no suffering, deprivation, restrictions. They are convinced that contact with their painful experiences should be avoided at all costs.
To avoid meeting their inner world and painful sensations, type Ne uses various methods: distraction, dissipation of attention, switching attention to new things or people, rationalization.
- Rationalization is a pseudo-explanation or justification of things in order to “jam” their own awareness of pain, deprivation and sadness. When deep and painful emotions arise in Type Ne, they easily explain them, reframe their experiences, find a way to accentuate the positive and deflect their deeper feelings. Thanks to the developed imagination, he can talk about new possibilities in the future, running away from the present moment with its limitations.
- Switching: As soon as type Ne experiences pain or discomfort, he moves on, switches from one activity to another, from one person to another, avoids routine and monotony. His motto becomes: "no routine, only change!" Type Ne is not too worried if something does not work out for him, he quickly switches his attention to something else.
“I try to occupy myself with something as much as possible so as not to stop and not think about unpleasant things, not to be aware of negative states. Fill your schedule to capacity so that there is no time to experience pain and experience negative emotions.”
"Instead of being with the fear and pain, I’d run from it."
“If I began to feel pain, I didn’t believe I would survive that pain. So I ran from it and found new pleasure elsewhere. It was a sure bet that when I felt down, I would get up, put my best dress and high heels on, and go out dancing.”
To avoid boredom and painful experiences, type Ne is constantly looking for new experiences, people and ideas, he, like a child, quickly loses interest in an object as soon as the object ceases to be new. This superficial interaction with objects leads to a painful feeling of inner emptiness, from which type Ne tries to escape in an even more active search for the pleasure of discovering new objects. This negatively affects all areas of his life.
------ Sphere of relations ------
In relationships with others, type Ne appreciates freedom and ease, does not recognize the limitations of either their own or others. He does not tolerate coercion and he himself will not force others. He tries not to be a burden to others, and not to burden himself with duties towards others. Usually he does not reproach his relatives for anything, because to reproach means to raise the question of mutual obligations, and he does everything on his own initiative or at least pretends that this is so, but in no case out of a sense of duty, he expects the same from partner. Prefers light and funny conversations to serious and deep ones.
He tends to idealize people, admiring some of their qualities or abilities. Often falls in love. Any vulgar waitress in a bar may seem like a princess in disguise to him, whom he can marry without hesitation.
With strong psychological disharmony (imbalance), he cannot stand tension, negative experiences, monotony, boredom, responsibility, as well as closeness and depth in relationships. Prone to such relationship scenarios: * Captain of distant voyage, * Don Juan, * Fugitive. (Scenarios apply equally to both men and women)
* CAPTAIN OF DISTANT VOYAGE - He is satisfied with such a relationship scenario in which he sees a partner rarely and not for long, so as not to have time to feel boredom and tension in the relationship. This is either a relationship with a person from another city who cannot be seen often, or a job that requires frequent and long business trips. There is no depth in such relationships.
* DON JUAN - Likes to make new acquaintances, get new impressions. Gets the person's attention, encourages them to put effort into building a connection with them, and when the person gets bored or shows signs of tension in the relationship, leaves them. He is satisfied with a superficial connection without any obligations. When approaching, different situations occur, including uncomfortable, painful for a person. And type Ne is most inclined to avoid psychological burden, so relationships that become closer are subconsciously considered by him as a burden that needs to be got rid of. Type Ne breaks off relationships without regret when faced with situations of inconvenience, obligations, restrictions, and all this increases as the relationship grows.
"I learned to get rid of people whom I have no patience for."
“There were times when I shut people out of my life on short notice. At the time, I had no remorse. I had little concern for their feelings."
* FUGITIVE - He has an irresistible desire to leave everything and everyone and move on without obligations and routine. Does not tolerate situations that limit or constrain its capabilities. Fleeing. Ignoring connections between people. Separation from others. Illusory feeling of freedom. He has neither joy nor suffering, which can be the result of passionate love or strong friendship. He knows only emotional emptiness.
Why not everyone can withstand close relationships? Because closeness and vulnerability are inseparable. With proximity, control is reduced, masks are dropped, and then everything that was held back and hidden comes closer to the surface. Therefore, people who hold back pain, anger, grief, or fears have almost no access to intimacy and pleasure from it. It turns out that intimacy in a relationship is quite painful for many people. Not because intimacy is pain. And because in the vicinity the pain is already impossible to ignore. It is impossible to turn on some feelings (positive) and turn off others (negative, everything that is not lived). And then a person has to either run away from others, or learn to meet his pain and live it, and also learn to meet someone else's pain.
Features of type Ne - Extraverted INTUITION
Why is type Ne more likely than other types to avoid painful experiences and connect deeply with others? For type Ne, the feeling of freedom and carelessness associated with the main psychic function of type Ne - Extraverted INTUITION are of particular importance.
INTUITION functions in the sphere of the UNMANIFESTED, in the world of ideas, potentialities, perspectives, imagination, where there are no bodily or material restrictions, where you can feel yourself a part of humanity, the noosphere, collective consciousness, see the interconnectedness of various processes and touch the unmanifested, what underlies of things. Being in the sphere of the unmanifested, outside of matter, a person experiences a feeling of complete freedom and unlimited possibilities.
With insufficient maturity, type Ne in every possible way avoids what interferes with his sense of freedom - financial or physical restrictions, obligations, social requirements, life and routine. Focusing on material tasks, everyday life and routine deplete him energetically, while activity in the sphere of the unmanifested gives pleasure.
With greater psychological maturity, obligations in relationships are perceived not as a limitation, but as an extension, as an opportunity to express oneself through another person. In material and everyday affairs, a person is enriched with new experience and skills that do not limit, but expand his capabilities, freedom is no longer perceived as irresponsibility and endless satisfaction.
Like all EXTRAVERT types, type Ne’s attention is directed to the outside world, to external objects, and not to itself. Type Ne experiences the joy of the process of intuitive knowledge of new objects and the disclosure of their potential, the delight of touching the new and mysterious. With insufficient maturity, he is not interested and afraid to focus on himself, on his inner world, he is afraid of losing a sense of lightness and carelessness, having met with his true feelings and experiences.
With greater psychological maturity, type Ne realizes that his negative emotions - sadness, disappointment and frustration - can help him grow and develop.
Contacting deeper feelings
Anything fully experienced is joy. Conflict fully experienced is joy. Pain fully experienced is joy. Sadness fully experienced is joy. Anger fully experienced is joy. Happiness fully experienced is joy. Love fully experienced is joy. (Kiara Windrider)
Really allowing things to affect you, to impact you on a deeper level, is not the same as wallowing in negativity. On the contrary, letting the events of your life, even the painful ones, touch you deeply will only enrich your experience.
Any time you feel in danger of being “bored,” stop and see what you are avoiding. Study what you are calling boredom. What does it feel like in your body? What is the sensation of boredom? What does sadness feel like? Where in your body do you notice it?
Notice what happens and how long you are able to stay with your feelings before you become aware that your attention has shifted. Can you identify what prevented you from staying with your feelings? What distracted you?
Freedom and obligations
Freedom is the recognition of necessity (Marx). Type Ne is important to first realize and then synthesize the duality: freedom – obligations.
Freedom is not a fantasy of freedom, and suffering is not a fantasy of suffering.
Materials used in this article:
"Psychological Types" by Carl Jung;
Socionics;
"The Enneagram of Society" by Claudio Naranjo (III - The Disturbances of Love. ENNEATYPE VII: PLEASURE-LOVE);
“The Wisdom of the Enneagram” by Don Riso (PART II: THE NINE PERSONALITY TYPES. CHAPTER 13: Type Seven – The Enthusiast);
Aglaya Dateshidze;
Last updating 25.12.2022